fun. crazy. life.

Have a wonderful Easter, everyone!

“It’s one thing to go through a crisis grandly, yet quite another to go through every day glorifying God when there is no witness, no limelight, and no one paying even the remotest attention to us.” Oswald Chambers

1 Corinthians 10:31 says “. . . whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”  Do I see myself as bringing glory to God in the little things I do every day? As my daily tasks of caring for my family become chores, I feel like I am wasting my life on meaningless repetitive tasks. How can load after load after load (after load) of laundry be remotely connected to bringing glory to God?  How can this be significant? How can this possibly be important in any type of big picture?
But it is. My faithfulness in my responsibilities - whatever they may be, glamorous or not - is important.  My attitude about these responsibilities is important. I am doing what God has called me to do at this time in my life - caring for my young family. It may not seem important to many people. It may be considered “not working.” (Ha!) But this is where I am. And I have been given a big responsibility that involves thousands of little responsibilities. I am building our home and our family, shaping the lives of my children by my attitudes, by my words and by my example. My faithfulness to my family and God is crucial. To my daughters. To their faith. To the women they will become.
Because my faithfulness brings Him glory. And that is all I am called to do.

I’m continually shocked at how much my own attitude and outlook on life has an effect on my entire family. If Mama’s in a bad mood, then everyone is. And I am also shocked at how often my mood depends on my perspective on life. Its kind-of like the age-old saying about the glass being half-empty or half-full… how I am seeing that glass can seep into every area of my life.

Am I being thankful that God provides for all of my needs or am I grumpily focusing on that which I don’t have? (Most of which would definitely qualify as a “want” not a need!) Am I beating myself up over what I didn’t get done or am I proud of what I was able to accomplish? Am I pleased with the progress my kids are making or am I frustrated that they are not perfect? (Like I am. Ahem.) Its all about my perspective.

I can  be resentful that Husband’s job involves long hours and travel.
or
I can be thankful that he is finally in a job he enjoys and has a boss who encourages everyone to put family first.

I can complain about being uncomfortable, unable to sleep and fat. And uncomfortable.
or
I can remind myself that every little kick (and huge thump) is a sign that my baby is growing and healthy. I can enjoy this pregnancy, remembering when I thought I may not be able to have more kids. And eat ice cream when I want to, since when am I going to get to do that again without feeling guilty?

I can browse real estate listings that I can’t afford and whine about every little thing that annoys me about our house.
or
I can remember why we bought it. How it was so much better than what we thought we would find. And drive by our old house and wonder how we all fit inside.

I can beat myself up about being unable to do everything I want to. About how I’m not sewing as much as I want for Eliza Grace or working on the house enough. Or thinking I’m a slacker because things are messy.
or
I can accept that I need to take it easy right now. And that I can’t do everything. Why is that so hard to grasp?

This year was the first year I did not have a Thanksgiving. I was very sad because I love Thanksgiving. Mostly because of the food, but all that family togetherness stuff is nice too. I mean, no apple pie? No stuffing? What kind of sad Thanksgiving was this going to be?

We had just arrived in India and spent Thanksgiving Day driving from Delhi north to Dehra Dun. Its about a 150 mile drive, but due to it being, well, India, it took 9 hours. We were driving on the main ‘highway’ which was not very direct, going through many villages and towns. Plus it usually had only 2 lanes, was occasionally unpaved, had only one rest stop, was full of potholes and speed bumps and was used not only by cars and trucks, but also bicycles, motorbikes, horses, water buffalo and donkey carts, tractors, pedestrians and even people in wheelchairs. Just rolling down the highway. I was not looking forward to this ride after our 20 hours of plane travel, but here we went.

I saw a lot along the way. I saw women washing clothes in rivers, banging clothes on rocks to clean them. Women bathing their children in a river or in a bucket next to the water pump. Women collecting water for their family at the local pump and carrying it back to their homes on their heads. Women cooking meals over open fires. Women emptying chamber pots in the open sewer that runs along the road. Women hanging up wet clothing to dry on the tents which they lived in. Women harvesting sugar cane with babies strapped to their backs. Women making cow dung bricks by hand, as their toddler sits next to her watching. Women sweeping the stoops of their tiny one-room homes with no plumbing.

What a sight to see on Thanksgiving day. What a reality check. How dare I be discontent over not being able to buy all the clothes I want or my house not looking like the Pottery Barn catalog? I would watch my healthy, well-fed, (somewhat) clean kids playing next to me with their little princess toys, then look out the window to see thin little girls dressed in rags working in the fields or carrying water or looking after other little ones instead of being in school.

All I could think about was Luke 12:48: “From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.” We’re certainly not wealthy, which I am well aware of living in our neighborhood. I navigate around the Hummers and Lexus SUVs when I’m picking the girls up from school, show up for playdates at houses that make my jaw drop. And I confess to looking around and wondering why I don’t have those things.
What a reality check. My family has food and shelter and clothing. Am I truly thankful for that? Do I even acknowledge that provision to God or do I just take it for granted? Do I thank Him that my children aren’t going hungry? Or that we are sheltered from the bitter cold this winter? I focus so much on what I don’t have that I am not thankful for what I do.
All of us have been given so much. What are we doing with it? What am I doing with my time? My money? My education? My talents? Am I taking advantage of God’s blessings in my life, awaiting those wonderful words from Matthew 25:23, the parable of the talents “Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things.” Or am I just wasting my life in discontent, missing out on enjoying the gifts God has given me?

Despite not celebrating Thanksgiving this year, somehow I think this Thanksgiving will be one that I remember forever.

“Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.” Psalm 118:1

Lately it has become glaringly obvious that all aspects of my life are totally, utterly out of my control. Yes, yes, I know that God is really the one in control. And while I do trust God, it is still such a hard lesson to just have to sit aside and wait. I want this situation taken care of for good. So I can stop worrying about it. (Yes, yes, I know I’m not supposed to worry either, blah blah blah.) I know God will take care of us and provide all that we need. We’re just praying and waiting, praying and waiting…
But I am finding this particular lesson of trusting God hard and humbling. I know its an important lesson, a good test of my faith and such. But being humbled is not fun.

This post on Beth Moore’s blog was a huge blessing to me this morning. Just what I needed to be encouraged about:
“God’s Word and His ways were meant for real living. If we keep saving sacred practices for sacred life-moments, we will never truly see our theology collide with our reality. We may feel a tad better at church and more spiritually in-tune at Bible study but we’ll never get the fact that Christ meant to infuse Himself into our relentless carpool lines, traffic jams, elevator rides, grocery store check-outs, expense reports, tank fill-ups, and family fights. If we reserve divine moments for divine situations, we are in for long waits and short visits. I don’t know about you but I need Him more than that.”

So fantastic. Read it, please!!!!